Too Soonjokes

Canada retaliated with tariffs of its own. Nobody noticed, because the retaliation came with a strongly worded apology and a Tim Hortons gift card.

Fifty percent tariffs on Canada. Mark Carney retaliated, politely. Canada's tariff list includes bourbon, motorcycles, and Florida oranges. So they're hitting Kentucky, Wisconsin, and Florida. It's the most targeted thing Canada's done since the 1972 Summit Series, and this time the puck is a tax.

Carney says Canada "won't be bullied." Trump says Canada should be the 51st state. Canada responded with a tariff on Kentucky bourbon, which means Mitch McConnell has finally been sanctioned by a foreign government.

A 50% tariff on Canada and Canada answered with a list. The longest peaceful border on earth now has a service fee. From Detroit, that's a tax on the view.

China's parade showed off hypersonic missiles, underwater drones, and robot wolves. America responded with a strongly worded tariff.

Tariffs on Canada. From Detroit, the Ambassador Bridge now charges a toll, a tariff, and the emotional cost of explaining to Windsor why.