Too Soonjokes

Trump called the Iran war "small potatoes" and "not a big thing." Six months, thousands dead, gas at $5. If that's small potatoes, the man's never bought groceries, which we knew.

Iran hit tankers, we hit the coast, the Houthis took a port, and oil's at $100. On the 9/11 anniversary, the Middle East is the one thing America has consistently remembered to bomb for 25 years.

Iran is telling all ships in the Gulf "not to be deceived" by the US Navy. The US Navy has 11 aircraft carriers. It's hard to be deceived by something you can see from space.

Trump says Iran is "keen to reach a deal quickly." A senior Iranian official said they won't negotiate until their conditions are met. So one side says they're eager and the other side says they're not talking. That's every relationship at the 197-day mark.

Iran declared a "restricted zone" around the Strait of Hormuz. It's 21 miles wide and carries a fifth of the world's oil. That's a velvet rope across the interstate with a cover charge.

China's parade showed off hypersonic missiles, underwater drones, and robot wolves. America responded with a strongly worded tariff.