Too Soonjokes

The Dodgers beat the Blue Jays in seven games to win the World Series. Canada's team lost to a payroll. That's the whole trade relationship in one box score.

The Tigers and Guardians are fighting for the division. Every game matters, and the average viewer is 61 and asleep by the seventh. Baseball's fine. The audience is a hospice with a cable package.

Toronto took the World Series to Game 7 and lost. It's the closest Canada has come to winning something in the US since 1812, and they burned the White House that time.

Ben Shelton beat Tiafoe and plays Zverev Sunday for the first American men's major in 23 years. Zverev's quote: "Hopefully I can not make the American dream come true." A German rooting against the American dream in New York. That's the first honest villain the city's had since the Yankees.

Big Brother 28 is on, and one houseguest promised another would "shrink, shiver, and die." Twenty-eight seasons of strangers locked in a house saying that to each other. CBS calls it a game show. The rest of us call it Thanksgiving.

A rent freeze in New York. A million tenants finally know what next year costs. It's the first time a New Yorker has had that information about anything.