Too Soonjokes

New York froze rents on nearly a million apartments. Landlords are calling it a hostage situation. Tenants are calling it Tuesday.

A socialist won New York. The billionaires threatened to leave, and the city's response was a rent freeze on a million apartments. That's not a policy, that's a taunt.

SpaceX went public, raised $75 billion, and Elon Musk became the first trillionaire. A trillion dollars. That's enough to buy every house in Detroit and still have $999 billion, which is the same as not buying them.

The country is 250. It's got debt, a bad hip, a war it can't explain, and grandkids who won't call. Happy birthday.

SpaceX is worth $1.77 trillion. The company that wants to leave the planet finally got the money to do it, and the rest of us are the security deposit.

Tesla shareholders approved a trillion-dollar pay package for the CEO. A trillion. For one man. The factory workers got a pizza party and a warning about bathroom breaks.