Too Soonjokes

Shelton is the first Black American man in a US Open final since Arthur Ashe in 1972, in a stadium named after Arthur Ashe. It took 54 years for the building to see someone it was named for. The Lions have been waiting since 1957, and they don't even have a building named after anybody.

Friday, September 11, 2026: 25 years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a president who remembers being carried, a quarterback who remembers being carted, and 100,000 Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. Also, what time's the tennis.

Ben Johnson is being compared to Bill Walsh after two games in Chicago. Two games. The NFL media's attention span is now shorter than a Bears quarterback's career, and the Bears have had 40 quarterbacks.

Friday, September 11, 2026: twenty-five years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a quarterback carted off six plays into a title defense, a kid who beat the best player alive at 3:30 a.m., and a hundred thousand Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. What time's the tennis.

The Senate has 47 Democrats and they need 51. That's the most hopeful Democrats have been since they had a pulse.

Trump is weighing direct strikes on the Houthis. The Houthis have been bombed by every president since Obama and they're still going. They're basically the Rolling Stones of getting bombed.