Too Soonjokes

A Russian warship fired flares within meters of a Danish military helicopter. Russia accused Denmark of "dangerous maneuvers." Denmark. The country that gave the world Lego and insulin was accused of aggression by the country that gave the world Chernobyl and a war with a 28-point peace plan.

Norway's wealth fund is pulling $80 billion out of U.S. Treasuries. A country of five million that runs on fish and oil just told a country of 340 million it doesn't trust the paperwork. The paperwork is the dollar.

The Pitt leads the Emmys with 25 nominations. It's a show about an ER where nobody gets paid enough and everyone dies on a schedule. The Academy loves a documentary.

A Russian strike on Kyiv killed 13 overnight. Peace talks are ongoing. They've been ongoing for four years, which is long enough for "ongoing" to be a cause of death.

SpaceX went public, raised $75 billion, and Elon Musk became the first trillionaire. A trillion dollars. That's enough to buy every house in Detroit and still have $999 billion, which is the same as not buying them.

The country is 250. It's got debt, a bad hip, a war it can't explain, and grandkids who won't call. Happy birthday.