Too Soonjokes

Norway's wealth fund is pulling $80 billion out of U.S. Treasuries. A country of five million that runs on fish and oil just told a country of 340 million it doesn't trust the paperwork. The paperwork is the dollar.

Norway's wealth fund is dumping $80 billion in Treasuries. A country of five million that runs on fish and oil told a country of 340 million it doesn't trust the paperwork. The paperwork is the dollar. The fish are fine.

Trump promised every adult $5,000 if Republicans win the midterms. That's $1.3 trillion. It's the first time a president has offered the country a bribe in front of it, on camera, with a number. The IRS will tax it.

Sixty-five billion barrels of Venezuelan oil, now American. Maduro's watching from a Manhattan jail with a public defender and better dental than the country he ran.

Apple's $2,000 folding phone, a $130 million witch movie, a 38-date Oasis tour with a waitlist, and a $5,000 vote bonus. Everything this month is on a payment plan except the war, and that's on your grandkids' plan.

A group in flip-flops with drones declared a blockade on a country with a $75 billion defense budget. The drones cost $2,000. The defense budget is now a subscription to being surprised.