Florida blocked surveillance cameras on its highways. Now the only thing watching you drive in Florida is God, and He's stopped.
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Fifty percent tariffs on Canada. Mark Carney retaliated, politely. Canada's tariff list includes bourbon, motorcycles, and Florida oranges. So they're hitting Kentucky, Wisconsin, and Florida. It's the most targeted thing Canada's done since the 1972 Summit Series, and this time the puck is a tax.
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The Louvre heist: $100 million in jewels, no cameras on the balcony, and a ladder from Home Depot. The Mona Lisa watched the whole thing and said nothing, as usual.
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A judge blocked Paramount's $110 billion takeover of Warner Bros. It's the first time in history anyone's been stopped from buying HBO just to cancel it.
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Lithuania stopped someone from sabotaging Starlink with Molotov cocktails. Elon's satellites survived. His reputation didn't.
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America this week: rejecting peace plans, begging France for diesel, and watching baseball on Peacock. A superpower in its "it's complicated" era.
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Trump says oil prices are about to "plunge." Wonderful. The last thing that plunged in this war was my 401(k).
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