Too Soonjokes

The Pope's first encyclical is 42,000 words warning that AI will devastate workers. It was summarized by AI, translated by AI, and read by a bishop's intern who's about to be replaced by AI.

Hegseth had his own generals polygraphed over leaks. The Defense Secretary who texted war plans to a journalist is now checking whether four-stars can keep a secret. The machine should have been pointed the other way.

Twenty deaths in ICE custody this year. The agency calls them "in-custody incidents." The families call them by their names, which is more than the paperwork does.

The FDA nominee is an activist. The agency that approves your medicine will now be run by someone who's mostly against things. The pharmacy line just became a debate.

The Seahawks beat the Patriots 29-13 and the halftime show was in Spanish. Half of Texas learned three words and the other half wrote to the FCC.

The Pope wrote 42,300 words about the dangers of artificial intelligence. It took the Church 359 years to apologize to Galileo, so being on time to this one is a miracle in itself.