Too Soonjokes

Trump says Iran is "keen to reach a deal quickly." A senior Iranian official said they won't negotiate until their conditions are met. So one side says they're eager and the other side says they're not talking. That's every relationship at the 197-day mark.

CENTCOM destroyed five Iranian oil tankers in one night and posted the video. Iran fired 20 missiles at a base in Jordan and hit sand. The war's now a group chat where one side sends videos and the other sends threats.

The Treasury warned foreign banks they'd lose access to America if they dealt with Tehran. The Pentagon has missiles. The Treasury has a letter. Both are threatening the same guy's cousin.

Trump called the Iran war "small potatoes" and "not a big thing." Six months, thousands dead, gas at $5. If that's small potatoes, the man's never bought groceries, which we knew.

Iran hit tankers, we hit the coast, the Houthis took a port, and oil's at $100. On the 9/11 anniversary, the Middle East is the one thing America has consistently remembered to bomb for 25 years.

Iran is telling all ships in the Gulf "not to be deceived" by the US Navy. The US Navy has 11 aircraft carriers. It's hard to be deceived by something you can see from space.