Too Soonjokes

Twenty-five years since September 11 this week. A quarter century. The kids who were born that morning are now old enough to be sent to the next one.

Twenty-five years, two wars, one new one, $8 trillion, 4.7 million dead, and the TSA is finally letting you back to the gate. It took a quarter century to get Grandma past security. It took eleven minutes to get a $5,000 bribe into a speech.

Twenty-five years after 9/11, the airport still makes you take off your shoes, and the country's at war in the same neighborhood. Never forget. We didn't. We just didn't learn either.

The 9/11 anniversary is Friday. Twenty-five years. The airport security we built afterward still takes your water bottle, and the House wants to privatize it. Never forget, and never get through the line either.

Friday, September 11, 2026: twenty-five years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a quarterback carted off six plays into a title defense, a kid who beat the best player alive at 3:30 a.m., and a hundred thousand Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. What time's the tennis.

Friday, September 11, 2026: 25 years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a president who remembers being carried, a quarterback who remembers being carted, and 100,000 Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. Also, what time's the tennis.