The Navy has now sunk eight Iranian tankers in a week. Iran's navy has seized one underwater drone. That's not a war, that's a fishing trip where one side has a submarine and the other has a net.
More on The Iran war
Related jokes
CENTCOM destroyed five Iranian oil tankers in one night and posted the video. Iran fired 20 missiles at a base in Jordan and hit sand. The war's now a group chat where one side sends videos and the other sends threats.
by Anonymous · 64% say too soon (135 votes)
Iran seized a $2.5 million American underwater drone. The maker says it's "attritable," which is contractor for "already billed." That's the most honest word in this war, and it was in a press release.
by Anonymous · 81% say too soon (159 votes)
Trump says Iran is "keen to reach a deal quickly." A senior Iranian official said they won't negotiate until their conditions are met. So one side says they're eager and the other side says they're not talking. That's every relationship at the 197-day mark.
by Anonymous · 81% say too soon (182 votes)
Goldman Sachs says oil could go higher if the tanker attacks continue. Goldman Sachs also owns the tankers, the insurance on the tankers, and the fund that bet on the tankers. They call it "analysis." The rest of us call it a receipt.
by Anonymous · 42% say too soon (26 votes)
Iran hit tankers, we hit the coast, the Houthis took a port, and oil's at $100. On the 9/11 anniversary, the Middle East is the one thing America has consistently remembered to bomb for 25 years.
by Anonymous · 32% say too soon (297 votes)
China's parade showed off hypersonic missiles, underwater drones, and robot wolves. America responded with a strongly worded tariff.
by Anonymous · 27% say too soon (166 votes)
or with a username