Too Soonjokes

Twenty-five years since 9/11, and the TSA is restoring gate access for people without tickets. It took a quarter century to let Grandma back to the gate. Your shoes still come off.

SpaceX is worth $1.77 trillion. The company that wants to leave the planet finally got the money to do it, and the rest of us are the security deposit.

Twenty-five years and the TSA finally lets Grandma back to the gate. She's 89. She can wave at the plane, the war, the tariffs, and the grandkids who can't afford the flight.

Twenty-five years since September 11 this week. A quarter century. The kids who were born that morning are now old enough to be sent to the next one.

The 9/11 anniversary is Friday. Twenty-five years. The airport security we built afterward still takes your water bottle, and the House wants to privatize it. Never forget, and never get through the line either.

Friday, September 11, 2026: twenty-five years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a quarterback carted off six plays into a title defense, a kid who beat the best player alive at 3:30 a.m., and a hundred thousand Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. What time's the tennis.