Too Soonjokes

The 9/11 anniversary is Friday. Twenty-five years. The airport security we built afterward still takes your water bottle, and the House wants to privatize it. Never forget, and never get through the line either.

Twenty-five years after 9/11, the airport still makes you take off your shoes, and the country's at war in the same neighborhood. Never forget. We didn't. We just didn't learn either.

Country music's biggest star put out a song so lazy the internet made it a joke format. Nashville has written the same song for 40 years and this is the first time they forgot to change the words.

Friday, September 11, 2026: 25 years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a president who remembers being carried, a quarterback who remembers being carted, and 100,000 Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. Also, what time's the tennis.

Morgan Wallen is up for Artist of the Year for the second year. He was canceled in 2021 for the worst thing you can say, then had the biggest album in the country. The lesson every artist learned is the one the country already knew: the audience forgives, the algorithm never remembered.

Twenty-five years after 9/11 we're at war in the same neighborhood, the airport still confiscates your water, and the Pentagon just polygraphed its own generals. Never forget. We didn't. We also didn't learn.