Too Soonjokes

The U.S. has a "blockade" in Hormuz. We're blockading the strait that we're mad Iran is blockading. It's beef between two guys who both parked in the fire lane.

Trump meets Xi next week and China is urging both the U.S. and Iran back to the table. The country that buys Iran's oil and sells us the phones is now the mediator. It's a divorce where the marriage counselor is also the landlord.

CENTCOM destroyed five Iranian oil tankers in one night and posted the video. Iran fired 20 missiles at a base in Jordan and hit sand. The war's now a group chat where one side sends videos and the other sends threats.

The Houthis took a port, Iran hit a base, we hit a coast, Rubio said "it depends," and Bessent bought $6 billion in bonds. That's not a foreign policy. That's a group project the night before it's due.

Turkey says it's presenting "proposals" to end the U.S.-Iran war and cited "strong distrust" between the parties. Turkey. The country that's fought both sides at some point since 1500 is now the trust broker. The proposal is probably "you've both done this before."

Trump called Iran's military "completely gone." He also said it would end soon back in March. At this point "ending soon" is like a CVS receipt. It never ends.