Too Soonjokes

The World Series starts Friday on Fox. Rays vs. Brewers, two small markets, zero celebrities in the stands. Fox's broadcast will be 40 percent Iran war ads and 60 percent shots of a guy eating cheese.

The Iran war is on Day 238. It's lasted longer than every New Year's resolution, every Kardashian marriage and every Bachelor couple combined.

Gas over $4, approval at 36, a war on Day 238. The administration's new slogan: "At least the Brewers are good."

Nobody's seen Iran's Supreme Leader in months, nobody likes Congress, and the Brewers are in the World Series. 2026: the year everyone's invisible except Milwaukee.

The 2030 census will no longer count immigrants without green cards or ask about race. So America's plan for dealing with its problems is to stop counting them. It's the first census designed by a guy hiding his bank statements from his wife.

We've been bombing Iran for six months. That's longer than most of my relationships and somehow with clearer communication.