Too Soonjokes

Israel bombed a meeting in Qatar where negotiators were discussing a ceasefire. It's hard to negotiate peace when the other side RSVPs with a jet.

The Houthis blockade Saudi Arabia, hold a Red Sea port, and did it with drones that cost less than a used Camry. The $75 billion defense budget is now a subscription to being surprised.

The Houthis run a blockade of Saudi Arabia and now hold a Red Sea port. A militia the size of a county has outmaneuvered three navies and a $75 billion defense budget. The flip-flops are undefeated.

The Houthis hold a port city and an island in the Bab el-Mandeb, and Saudi Arabia shut a pipeline "as a precaution." A militia in sandals controls two of the four places oil can leave the planet. Your gas station heard before you did.

The Houthis captured an island in the Bab el-Mandeb Strait and Saudi Arabia shut a major pipeline. A militia in sandals now controls two of the four places oil can leave the planet. Goldman Sachs has a new analyst on it and he's crying into a map.

Saturday, September 12: the Houthis have an island, Saudi shut a pipeline, Norway's leaving, a robot hacked a library and the librarian quit, the president's golfing in Ireland, a woman in remission lost her insurance for not being sick enough, and a 23-year-old plays for the first American major in 23 years tomorrow. Tell one. Vote. Watch the tennis.