Too Soonjokes

The Houthis blockade Saudi Arabia, hold a Red Sea port, and did it with drones that cost less than a used Camry. The $75 billion defense budget is now a subscription to being surprised.

A group in flip-flops with drones declared a blockade on a country with a $75 billion defense budget. The drones cost $2,000. The defense budget is now a subscription to being surprised.

The Houthis fired a missile at Riyadh and hit an oil facility at Yanbu. Saudi Arabia asked for U.S. strikes and got turned down because the Houthis "promised not to fight Americans." A militia in sandals gave its word and the superpower took it. That's not diplomacy, that's a handshake at a used-car lot.

The Houthis seized Mokha, the port city coffee is named after, and now sit on two of the world's four oil chokepoints. A militia in sandals outmaneuvered three navies. Your $7 latte has a security council briefing.

The Houthis took a port, Iran hit a base, we hit a coast, Rubio said "it depends," and Bessent bought $6 billion in bonds. That's not a foreign policy. That's a group project the night before it's due.

The Houthis hold a port city and an island in the Bab el-Mandeb, and Saudi Arabia shut a pipeline "as a precaution." A militia in sandals controls two of the four places oil can leave the planet. Your gas station heard before you did.