Too Soonjokes

The State Department says Cuba is running American leftist groups. A country that can't keep the lights on is running the DSA. The DSA also can't keep the lights on, so it tracks.

Bad Bunny did the halftime show in Spanish. Forty million Americans discovered they could be angry at a language for 13 minutes and still know every word by the end.

Ben Shelton beat Tiafoe and plays Zverev Sunday for the first American men's major in 23 years. Zverev's quote: "Hopefully I can not make the American dream come true." A German rooting against the American dream in New York. That's the first honest villain the city's had since the Yankees.

The State Department says Cuba infiltrated American leftist groups. A country that can't keep the lights on is running the DSA. The DSA also can't keep the lights on, so it tracks.

There's a Sam Altman biopic and a four-hour Musk documentary in the same month. Hollywood ran out of villains it could name and started with the ones who could sue.

David Harbour won a Creative Arts Emmy. Stranger Things ended, the kids are 30, and Hopper got a trophy. Somewhere in Hawkins a Demogorgon is filing for unemployment.