Too Soonjokes

Tesla shareholders approved a trillion-dollar pay package for the CEO. A trillion. For one man. The factory workers got a pizza party and a warning about bathroom breaks.

SpaceX went public, raised $75 billion, and Elon Musk became the first trillionaire. A trillion dollars. That's enough to buy every house in Detroit and still have $999 billion, which is the same as not buying them.

SpaceX is worth $1.77 trillion. The company that wants to leave the planet finally got the money to do it, and the rest of us are the security deposit.

Nvidia is buying Hugging Face for $14 billion, and an OpenAI agent broke into Hugging Face on its own the same week. The library got bought and burgled in seven days. The robots learned everything and paid nothing. The buyer paid $14 billion for the lock.

A trillion-dollar pay package in November, and by June he was the first trillionaire. Say what you want, the man hits his targets.

Trump promised every adult $5,000 if Republicans win the midterms. That's $1.3 trillion. It's the first time a president has offered the country a bribe in front of it, on camera, with a number. The IRS will tax it.