Too Soonjokes

Thieves cut four paintings out of their frames in a museum heist that took minutes, a year after the Louvre lost the crown jewels in eight. Europe's museums are now the only places where the exit is faster than the entrance.

The feds took over DC's police in August. Crime dropped, they said. It's easy to drop crime when you redefine "crime" as "whatever's left after the tourists leave."

Thieves robbed the Louvre in eight minutes with a furniture lift and power tools, in daylight, during opening hours. The most French thing about it is that security was on strike about it before it happened.

The Louvre heist: $100 million in jewels, no cameras on the balcony, and a ladder from Home Depot. The Mona Lisa watched the whole thing and said nothing, as usual.

Senator Roger Marshall sued 700 of his own patients over bills when he was a doctor and had 81 arrested. He's on the health committee. The Hippocratic Oath says first do no harm. His said first send it to collections.

They tore down the East Wing for a ballroom and the Supreme Court said fine. So the building has a dance floor now and no First Lady's office. That's a divorce settlement, not a renovation.