Too Soonjokes

Senator Roger Marshall sued 700 of his own patients over bills when he was a doctor and had 81 arrested. He's on the health committee. The Hippocratic Oath says first do no harm. His said first send it to collections.

The Bills led 21-0 at halftime in their $1.4 billion stadium's first game. The public paid for a good chunk of the building. The team paid Dawson Knox. Only one of those investments scored twice on opening night.

Darnold got hurt on the last play of the first drive and the Seahawks shut out the first half. They're the third defending champ ever to be shut out in the first half of the opener. The other two are also in Seattle's group chat.

A.J. Brown hurt his ankle in the third quarter of his first Patriots game. New England traded for the one thing they lacked in the Super Bowl: a receiver who catches. He caught an injury.

Drake Maye threw three interceptions in the opener. His last three-pick game was the Super Bowl, also against Seattle. The Patriots found the one team that makes him play like a Jet, and scheduled them twice.

The Bills scored 41 in their billion-dollar stadium's first game and the tight end who caught two of them was on the trade block in August. The building cost $1.4 billion. Dawson Knox cost patience. Only one of those was paid for by the public.