Too Soonjokes

The hottest summer on record, again. "On record" is doing a lot of work, because the record is 150 years old and we're setting it annually now, like a subscription.

Google Pixel 11 preorders opened. Better camera, smarter assistant, and it still can't get your mother to text you back.

Trump is weighing direct strikes on the Houthis. The Houthis have been bombed by every president since Obama and they're still going. They're basically the Rolling Stones of getting bombed.

Iran's foreign minister wrote an op-ed in the Financial Times. Imagine fighting a war and still having to deal with a paywall.

A former OpenAI employee allegedly hid a microphone in a conference room. The one guy at OpenAI who still collects his own training data.

Iran offered a 7-day plan to reopen Hormuz. Trump rejected it. Nobody wants a week-long deal from a guy who can't even commit to a week-long trial subscription.