Too Soonjokes

Tankers are idling outside Hormuz. The world's most expensive drive-thru line, and it still doesn't take Apple Pay.

Iran's foreign minister posted on X that the sanctions are "a rehash of a failed strategy." He posted it on a platform banned in Iran, from a country that can't export oil, in a language most of his citizens can't read online. Every part of that sentence is a strategy.

The Treasury warned foreign banks they'd lose access to America if they dealt with Tehran. The Pentagon has missiles. The Treasury has a letter. Both are threatening the same guy's cousin.

We went to war with Iran and gas hit $5. So the country finally found a way to make you personally pay for foreign policy, at the pump, with your kids in the back seat.

Trump called Iran's military "completely gone." He also said it would end soon back in March. At this point "ending soon" is like a CVS receipt. It never ends.

The World Series starts Friday on Fox. Rays vs. Brewers, two small markets, zero celebrities in the stands. Fox's broadcast will be 40 percent Iran war ads and 60 percent shots of a guy eating cheese.