Too Soonjokes

The US now controls 65 billion barrels of Venezuelan oil, eight months after grabbing the president. Marco Rubio called it "a partnership." So is a payday loan.

Sixty-five billion barrels of Venezuelan oil, now American. Maduro's watching from a Manhattan jail with a public defender and better dental than the country he ran.

Norway's wealth fund is pulling $80 billion out of U.S. Treasuries. A country of five million that runs on fish and oil just told a country of 340 million it doesn't trust the paperwork. The paperwork is the dollar.

The $5,000 dividend costs $1.3 trillion. Treasury yields are at 2007 levels. Norway's dumping $80 billion in bonds. So the plan is to borrow money nobody wants to lend, to pay voters to elect the people who borrowed it. The Founders would call it a monarchy. Goldman calls it a Thursday.

India held elections in four states and governments flipped in three. A billion people changed their minds in three weeks. In America it takes four years and a lawsuit.

Venezuela lost 50,000 people in an earthquake and America showed up with flowers. And a drilling permit.