Too Soonjokes

Fifty million kids went back to school this week. Active shooter drills start Wednesday, so at least they'll learn something practical.

Persona 6 is out. A game where teenagers fight demons at night and attend school by day, for 120 hours. In America the demons don't need a game, they've got a school board.

Ten million dollars on Texas ads. The ads will say the other guy is a socialist. The other guy is also a Republican. This is how you find out the word doesn't mean anything.

Ronaldinho signed with Ravenna in Italy's third division at 46. He said "let the magic begin." His agent said "let the appearance fee clear."

Norway's wealth fund is pulling $80 billion out of U.S. Treasuries. A country of five million that runs on fish and oil just told a country of 340 million it doesn't trust the paperwork. The paperwork is the dollar.

The Oscars ran four hours and gave out 23 statues. The winners thanked their agents, their mothers, and God, in that order, which is also the order the checks clear.