Too Soonjokes

Fifty percent tariffs on Canada. Mark Carney retaliated, politely. Canada's tariff list includes bourbon, motorcycles, and Florida oranges. So they're hitting Kentucky, Wisconsin, and Florida. It's the most targeted thing Canada's done since the 1972 Summit Series, and this time the puck is a tax.

Carney says Canada "won't be bullied." Trump says Canada should be the 51st state. Canada responded with a tariff on Kentucky bourbon, which means Mitch McConnell has finally been sanctioned by a foreign government.

A 50% tariff on Canada and Canada answered with a list. The longest peaceful border on earth now has a service fee. From Detroit, that's a tax on the view.

SpaceX went public, raised $75 billion, and Elon Musk became the first trillionaire. A trillion dollars. That's enough to buy every house in Detroit and still have $999 billion, which is the same as not buying them.

The Dodgers beat the Blue Jays in seven games to win the World Series. Canada's team lost to a payroll. That's the whole trade relationship in one box score.

A trade war with Canada. The first country to lose to Canada since the 1972 Summit Series was Russia, and it took eight games.