Too Soonjokes

Hurricane Lowell went Category 5, then 4, then 5. It's got the commitment issues of a man whose wedding is at Madison Square Garden.

Fourth of July, 250th edition. Fireworks in a drought, hot dogs at tariff prices, and a war overseas. The founders would recognize all of it.

Lowell is a Category 5 one hour and a 4 the next. It's a drunk deciding whether to drive home. Either way, somebody's roof is leaving.

The president told the UN that climate change is a hoax and escalators are broken. One of those was a policy position and one was a complaint about the building. Nobody could tell which.

Hurricane Melissa hit Jamaica as a Category 5. The strongest storm ever to land there. The forecasters had a category for it and the island didn't.

The Grand Canyon flooded. Took six million years to dig and one afternoon to fill.