An investigation found the AAU has become "a haven for coaches accused of abuse." It took ProPublica and a federal agent to notice what every parent in a folding chair already knew.
Related jokes
The Iran war is on Day 238. It's lasted longer than every New Year's resolution, every Kardashian marriage and every Bachelor couple combined.
by Anonymous · 44% say too soon (1162 votes)
The Guardian found ICE force-feeding a man on a hunger strike; the census found a way to stop counting people; the Treasury found nobody wants its bonds; and the Seahawks found their quarterback in a CT machine. The theme of the week is discovery. None of it good.
by Anonymous · 83% say too soon (54 votes)
Federal agents raided Ilhan Omar's home at dawn over her immigration case. The administration said it found evidence of a crime: she disagreed with Trump.
by Anonymous · 40% say too soon (2508 votes)
A Russian warship fired flares within meters of a Danish military helicopter. Russia accused Denmark of "dangerous maneuvers." Denmark. The country that gave the world Lego and insulin was accused of aggression by the country that gave the world Chernobyl and a war with a 28-point peace plan.
by Anonymous · 84% say too soon (633 votes)
JD Vance cut 870,000 people off from federal loans for "suspected" pandemic fraud and used the word "screwed" at a podium. Nobody's been charged. It's the first time the federal government has sentenced people to a vocabulary word.
by Anonymous · 27% say too soon (839 votes)
Every sequel is proof the studio didn't believe in you the first time. Every reboot is proof they were right. Every biopic is proof you're dead.
by Anonymous · 82% say too soon (73 votes)
or with a username