Too Soonjokes

Twenty-five years after 9/11 we're at war in the same neighborhood, the airport still confiscates your water, and the Pentagon just polygraphed its own generals. Never forget. We didn't. We also didn't learn.

The 9/11 anniversary is Friday. Twenty-five years. The airport security we built afterward still takes your water bottle, and the House wants to privatize it. Never forget, and never get through the line either.

Friday, September 11, 2026: twenty-five years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a quarterback carted off six plays into a title defense, a kid who beat the best player alive at 3:30 a.m., and a hundred thousand Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. What time's the tennis.

Friday, September 11, 2026: 25 years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a president who remembers being carried, a quarterback who remembers being carted, and 100,000 Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. Also, what time's the tennis.

Twenty-five years since 9/11, and the TSA is restoring gate access for people without tickets. It took a quarter century to let Grandma back to the gate. Your shoes still come off.

Never forget. The country said it every year for 25 years while it forgot the air was toxic, the wars were optional, the veterans were sick, and the airport was theater. The two words we didn't forget were the two on the bumper sticker.