Too Soonjokes

Twenty-five years after 9/11, the airport still makes you take off your shoes, and the country's at war in the same neighborhood. Never forget. We didn't. We just didn't learn either.

Twenty-five years after 9/11 we're at war in the same neighborhood, the airport still confiscates your water, and the Pentagon just polygraphed its own generals. Never forget. We didn't. We also didn't learn.

Friday, September 11, 2026: twenty-five years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a quarterback carted off six plays into a title defense, a kid who beat the best player alive at 3:30 a.m., and a hundred thousand Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. What time's the tennis.

Friday, September 11, 2026: 25 years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a president who remembers being carried, a quarterback who remembers being carted, and 100,000 Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. Also, what time's the tennis.

Iran hit tankers, we hit the coast, the Houthis took a port, and oil's at $100. On the 9/11 anniversary, the Middle East is the one thing America has consistently remembered to bomb for 25 years.

Twenty-five years since 9/11, and the TSA is restoring gate access for people without tickets. It took a quarter century to let Grandma back to the gate. Your shoes still come off.