Mayweather-Pacquiao 2 is this month. Floyd is 49. Manny is 47 and a Philippine senator. It's the first boxing match where one fighter can be censured by a legislature for a low blow.

Senator Roger Marshall sued 700 of his own patients over bills when he was a doctor and had 81 arrested. He's on the health committee. The Hippocratic Oath says first do no harm. His said first send it to collections.

Congress funded the government through December 11. It's hospice care with a press release.

This Congress holds the record for the longest shutdown in history and they're all up for re-election. Democracy is a dog that keeps eating the chocolate.

The shutdown closed national parks, so people just walked in. Turns out the Grand Canyon works without a ranger. So does Congress, and that's the problem.

They passed the budget by "suspension of the rules." That's also what the coroner writes when a senator dies at 91, in office, mid-vote.

John Fetterman, a Democrat, sent a video to the Republican convention introducing the Republican senator from his own state as his "great friend." His former staffers say he's more interested in Fox News than Pennsylvania. The Republicans finally found a Democrat they like: one who agrees with them on camera and disappears in the Senate.

Mark Carney hit Kentucky bourbon, Florida oranges, and Wisconsin motorcycles with counter-tariffs. He didn't retaliate against America. He retaliated against three specific senators, politely, with a receipt.

A glacier collapsed and took a valley with it. Ice, it turns out, has a deadline. Congress might want to look into that.

Longest shutdown in history. Air traffic controllers worked for free while Congress debated whose fault it was, from an airport lounge, on a flight that was late.

They told pregnant women not to take Tylenol. The same week, a bill passed to keep Congress's health plan exactly as it was. Tough it out, ladies.

Halloween during a shutdown. The kids trick-or-treated at the closed national park. Nobody answered. That's a federal building for you.

The 9/11 anniversary is Friday. Twenty-five years. The airport security we built afterward still takes your water bottle, and the House wants to privatize it. Never forget, and never get through the line either.

The president says he's "not in a hurry" to negotiate with Iran. He's right. Hurry is for people whose house is under the flight path.

Federal workers got full back pay after 43 days. So they got paid for six weeks of not working, which means they had the same fall as the senators.

Two million dollars for ICE robot dogs. Congress asked how they'd be used. The answer was "operational flexibility," which is what you say when the dog's still in the box.

The House wants private contractors running the TSA. Same guy who loses your bag, now with stock options.

Christmas 2025: gifts up 15% from tariffs, a shutdown hangover, and a Netflix login that now includes CNN. Peace on earth was not on sale.

CENTCOM told the tanker crews to abandon ship before striking. That's the most warning anyone in this war has gotten, including Congress.

SNAP benefits lapsed during the shutdown. Forty-two million people missed a meal so that 535 people could hold a press conference about meals.

Congress is arguing about a bill to end child marriage. Somewhere a lobbyist is being paid to explain the other side. Say that out loud.

The Rose Garden got paved and the East Wing got bulldozed. The White House is now the only historic building in America being flipped.

Congress left town to campaign. The Capitol is empty, which is the closest it's been to functional all year.

A super PAC is spending $10 million to help Ken Paxton win the Texas Senate seat. Ten million dollars for a man who was impeached by his own party and acquitted by the same one. Texas doesn't have elections, it has re-enactments.

The shutdown ended after 43 days, just in time for Thanksgiving. Nothing says gratitude like getting your first paycheck since Halloween.

A podcast host was nominated to run a federal agency. It's the natural progression: first you talk for three hours about a thing, then you're put in charge of it. Congress works the same way.

Michigan needed a controversial call to beat a MAC school at home. The Big House is now a Big Hospice with a marching band.

The Iran war upended the world economy. Oil went up, stocks went down, and the only thing that stayed stable was the number of members of Congress with kids in the military: zero.

The twentieth death in an ICE jail this year. That's more than the number of days Congress has spent on it, combined.

Madonna leads the VMAs at 68. MTV hasn't played a video since 2008. The product's dead and the ceremony continues, which is the plan for the census, the Senate, and most marriages.

A senator sued 700 patients and had 81 arrested over medical debt before running for office. In Kansas that's not a scandal, that's a resume. He listed it under "leadership."

Forty-three days of shutdown and the only thing that got fixed was the calendar. December 11 is the new September 30, which was the new January 30. The government doesn't have a budget. It has a snooze button.

Fashion Week: seven days of thin people wearing things nobody will buy, reviewed by people nobody reads, in a city nobody can afford. Congress with better lighting, worse snacks, and the same number of women in charge.

The most honest sentence this week was Zverev's: "I didn't hear noise at all." Neither did Congress, the Pentagon, or the Postal Service. He got a trophy for it.

The last twelve months: a shutdown, an invasion, a war, a trillionaire, a heist, a wedding, three hurricanes, and a robot dog. If you wrote it as a novel, the editor would say "too much." If you lived it, you'd say "at least the Knicks won."