Too Soonjokes

Cooper Manning was on Fox News Monday talking about the NFL season. There are three Manning brothers. One won two Super Bowls, one won two Super Bowls, and one gets to be on television. Genetics is a lottery and so is the tie-breaker.

Senator Roger Marshall sued 700 of his own patients over bills when he was a doctor and had 81 arrested. He's on the health committee. The Hippocratic Oath says first do no harm. His said first send it to collections.

Friday, September 11, 2026: 25 years since the towers, 196 days into the next war, a $5,000 bribe on the table, a president who remembers being carried, a quarterback who remembers being carted, and 100,000 Australians who couldn't see the field. Never forget. Also, what time's the tennis.

The NFL season starts this week. Seventeen games, 32 teams, and one league where the players' brains are a preexisting condition.

Netflix owns Warner Bros., HBO, CNN, DC, and the NFL's Australia game. The company that mailed you DVDs now owns Batman, the news, and the thing you fall asleep to. That's not a media company. That's a hospice with a login.

Drake Maye threw three picks to Seattle in the Super Bowl and three more in the opener. The Patriots' plan for the Seahawks is apparently to keep giving them the ball until they feel bad about it.