CENTCOM destroyed five Iranian oil tankers in one night and posted the video. Iran fired 20 missiles at a base in Jordan and hit sand. The war's now a group chat where one side sends videos and the other sends threats.
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CENTCOM sank five tankers in one night and posted the video. Day 196. The Pentagon can name every ship it's sunk and can't name the goal.
by Anonymous · 33% say too soon (119 votes)
Iran fired twenty missiles at a base in Jordan. Jordan shot down eighteen. The other two hit sand. That's a ten percent success rate, which in Tehran is a promotion.
by Anonymous · 24% say too soon (85 votes)
Jordan intercepted 18 of 20 Iranian missiles aimed at an American base. The other two landed in the desert. Jordan is now the only country in the Middle East with a better save percentage than the Red Wings.
by Anonymous · 35% say too soon (40 votes)
The Navy has now sunk eight Iranian tankers in a week. Iran's navy has seized one underwater drone. That's not a war, that's a fishing trip where one side has a submarine and the other has a net.
by Anonymous · 81% say too soon (32 votes)
Trump says Iran is "keen to reach a deal quickly." A senior Iranian official said they won't negotiate until their conditions are met. So one side says they're eager and the other side says they're not talking. That's every relationship at the 197-day mark.
by Anonymous · 81% say too soon (182 votes)
Iran threatened tankers docked in Kuwait and Bahrain, so we hit the coast before breakfast. The Middle East is now a group chat where everyone types "say less" and means it.
by Anonymous · 79% say too soon (38 votes)
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