CENTCOM sank five tankers in one night and posted the video. Day 196. The Pentagon can name every ship it's sunk and can't name the goal.
More on The Iran war
Related jokes
CENTCOM destroyed five Iranian oil tankers in one night and posted the video. Iran fired 20 missiles at a base in Jordan and hit sand. The war's now a group chat where one side sends videos and the other sends threats.
by Anonymous · 64% say too soon (135 votes)
The Iran war is on Day 238. It's lasted longer than every New Year's resolution, every Kardashian marriage and every Bachelor couple combined.
by Anonymous · 44% say too soon (1162 votes)
Iran's foreign minister posted on X that the sanctions are "a rehash of a failed strategy." He posted it on a platform banned in Iran, from a country that can't export oil, in a language most of his citizens can't read online. Every part of that sentence is a strategy.
by Anonymous · 49% say too soon (39 votes)
Goldman Sachs says oil could go higher if the tanker attacks continue. Goldman Sachs also owns the tankers, the insurance on the tankers, and the fund that bet on the tankers. They call it "analysis." The rest of us call it a receipt.
by Anonymous · 42% say too soon (26 votes)
Iran says it has "unparalleled leverage" over Hormuz. Iran discovered the same strategy as every toll road in New Jersey.
by Anonymous · 24% say too soon (2951 votes)
Trump wants a "lasting" peace with Iran. He's said that about every marriage too.
by Anonymous · 82% say too soon (2427 votes)
or with a username