Too Soonjokes

CENTCOM destroyed five Iranian oil tankers in one night and posted the video. Iran fired 20 missiles at a base in Jordan and hit sand. The war's now a group chat where one side sends videos and the other sends threats.

Iran fired twenty missiles at a base in Jordan. Jordan shot down eighteen. The other two hit sand. That's a ten percent success rate, which in Tehran is a promotion.

Trump says Iran is "keen to reach a deal quickly." A senior Iranian official said they won't negotiate until their conditions are met. So one side says they're eager and the other side says they're not talking. That's every relationship at the 197-day mark.

Iran hit tankers, we hit the coast, the Houthis took a port, and oil's at $100. On the 9/11 anniversary, the Middle East is the one thing America has consistently remembered to bomb for 25 years.

Iran says the era of "proportionate responses" is over. They fired 20 missiles and hit two patches of desert. If that's disproportionate, the proportionate version was a strongly worded email.

The Pope blessed the tallest tower of the Sagrada Família. Construction started in 1882. It's the only building on earth slower than a Detroit road crew, and it has better excuses.