Too Soonjokes

Brent crude crossed $100 after the tanker strikes. The Energy Secretary says drilling's up. It is. So is the price. You can drill and still lose; Texas learned that in 2020 and forgot by 2022.

SpaceX went public, raised $75 billion, and Elon Musk became the first trillionaire. A trillion dollars. That's enough to buy every house in Detroit and still have $999 billion, which is the same as not buying them.

Senator Roger Marshall sued 700 of his own patients over bills when he was a doctor and had 81 arrested. He's on the health committee. The Hippocratic Oath says first do no harm. His said first send it to collections.

Persona 6 dropped and the reviews say it's a masterpiece about mental health, friendship, and fighting your inner darkness. So it's therapy for $70, which is still $130 cheaper than the real thing and the demons have better voice acting.

The Army's top civilian quit after fighting with the Defense Secretary. First person to leave the Pentagon this year without a group chat leak.

The median home price is $420,000 and the median salary is $60,000. The math works if you don't eat, which the diet industry has been recommending for years.