Too Soonjokes

Andrew Garfield plays Sam Altman in a movie called Artificial. Spider-Man plays the man who built the machine that writes the next Spider-Man. That's not casting, that's a hostage tape.

Andrew Garfield plays Sam Altman in a biopic called Artificial. The man whose company automated the screenwriter is now being played by an actor whose job the company is also automating. Two paychecks, one funeral.

OpenAI shipped GPT-5.2 in December because Google scared them. The smartest machine ever built was released out of panic, like everything else humans make.

Rybakina beat Sabalenka in a thriller for her first US Open. She's from Kazakhstan by way of Moscow, playing in Queens, in front of 23,000 people who paid $900 to whisper and one State Department that won't let them visit. The trophy's going home through customs.

The US cut foreign access to its best AI models. So the machine that will replace American workers is now Made in America, for America, replacing Americans first. Buy local.

OpenAI's new Agents API lets software "handle sessions, orchestration, and recovery" on its own. So the machine now does the job, schedules the job, and cleans up when the job goes wrong. Everything except get blamed. That's still you.