Too Soonjokes

Andrew Garfield playing Sam Altman. Spider-Man plays the man who built the machine that writes the next Spider-Man. That's not casting, that's foreshadowing.

Andrew Garfield plays Sam Altman in a biopic called Artificial. The man whose company automated the screenwriter is now being played by an actor whose job the company is also automating. Two paychecks, one funeral.

Netflix bought Warner Bros. in December. Paramount tried to steal it in the spring. A judge blocked it in August. Three companies fought over one studio all year and nobody made a movie.

Sinners got 16 nominations and won four. It's about vampires in Mississippi. Hollywood finally made a movie about the South's actual history.

Apple's $2,000 folding phone, a $130 million witch movie, a 38-date Oasis tour with a waitlist, and a $5,000 vote bonus. Everything this month is on a payment plan except the war, and that's on your grandkids' plan.

There's a Sam Altman biopic and a four-hour Musk documentary in the same month. Hollywood ran out of villains it could name and started with the ones who could sue.