Too Soonjokes

Sam Darnold: $100 million, banner raised, six snaps, hospital. Drew Lock started Week 2 and the Seahawks are still fine. Seattle's quarterback plan is to keep signing guys until one of them is standing at the end of the year. It's a survivor pool with a cap number.

Sam Darnold's hip is "a muscle strain," the Seahawks say, and Drew Lock will start. Darnold got $100 million and six plays. Lock got a roster spot and a win. The NFL calls it next man up. Darnold's accountant calls it a rounding error with a limp.

Darnold went down on the sixth snap with a hip injury and spent the night in the hospital. He signed for $100 million last year. That's $16 million a play, which is still cheaper than what Iran's paying per tanker.

Darnold spent the night at the hospital after the opener. The team said "good news." The good news is a "muscle strain." The bad news is he's a Seahawks quarterback, and their good news has a way of becoming a Drew Lock start.

The Seattle Storm lost a player at the FIBA World Cup while the Seahawks lost their quarterback at home. Seattle's a beautiful city where every athlete eventually leaves on a cart.

Sam Darnold raised the Super Bowl banner and got carried off on the sixth play of the season. Banner up, quarterback in a hospital, Seattle won anyway. That's not football, that's a Greek play with a salary cap.