Iran fired twenty missiles at a base in Jordan. Jordan shot down eighteen. The other two hit sand. That's a ten percent success rate, which in Tehran is a promotion.
More on The Iran war
Related jokes
CENTCOM destroyed five Iranian oil tankers in one night and posted the video. Iran fired 20 missiles at a base in Jordan and hit sand. The war's now a group chat where one side sends videos and the other sends threats.
by Anonymous · 64% say too soon (135 votes)
Jordan intercepted 18 of 20 Iranian missiles aimed at an American base. The other two landed in the desert. Jordan is now the only country in the Middle East with a better save percentage than the Red Wings.
by Anonymous · 35% say too soon (40 votes)
The World Series starts Friday on Fox. Rays vs. Brewers, two small markets, zero celebrities in the stands. Fox's broadcast will be 40 percent Iran war ads and 60 percent shots of a guy eating cheese.
by Anonymous · 56% say too soon (1309 votes)
Trump said we'll finish Iran "one way or the other." Which is also how my dad described assembling IKEA furniture before he threw half the screws away.
by Anonymous · 56% say too soon (6669 votes)
The Treasury warned foreign banks they'd lose access to America if they dealt with Tehran. The Pentagon has missiles. The Treasury has a letter. Both are threatening the same guy's cousin.
by Anonymous · 35% say too soon (133 votes)
The Houthis fired a missile at Riyadh and hit an oil facility at Yanbu. Saudi Arabia asked for U.S. strikes and got turned down because the Houthis "promised not to fight Americans." A militia in sandals gave its word and the superpower took it. That's not diplomacy, that's a handshake at a used-car lot.
by Anonymous · 32% say too soon (557 votes)
or with a username