Too Soonjokes

Norway's wealth fund is dumping $80 billion in Treasuries. A country of five million that runs on fish and oil told a country of 340 million it doesn't trust the paperwork. The paperwork is the dollar. The fish are fine.

Sixty-five billion barrels of Venezuelan oil, now American. Maduro's watching from a Manhattan jail with a public defender and better dental than the country he ran.

Two earthquakes hit Venezuela and killed 2,000 people. Within two months, America had a deal for 65 billion barrels of their oil. We sent thoughts, prayers, and a drilling schedule.

The $5,000 dividend costs $1.3 trillion. Treasury yields are at 2007 levels. Norway's dumping $80 billion in bonds. So the plan is to borrow money nobody wants to lend, to pay voters to elect the people who borrowed it. The Founders would call it a monarchy. Goldman calls it a Thursday.

The US now controls 65 billion barrels of Venezuelan oil, eight months after grabbing the president. Marco Rubio called it "a partnership." So is a payday loan.

A Russian warship fired flares within meters of a Danish military helicopter. Russia accused Denmark of "dangerous maneuvers." Denmark. The country that gave the world Lego and insulin was accused of aggression by the country that gave the world Chernobyl and a war with a 28-point peace plan.