Too Soonjokes

The Houthis hold a port city and an island in the Bab el-Mandeb, and Saudi Arabia shut a pipeline "as a precaution." A militia in sandals controls two of the four places oil can leave the planet. Your gas station heard before you did.

Saudi Arabia shut a pipeline as a precaution and Aramco's stock went up. The country lost a pipeline and made money. That's the only economy on earth where the leak is the profit.

The Houthis captured an island in the Bab el-Mandeb Strait and Saudi Arabia shut a major pipeline. A militia in sandals now controls two of the four places oil can leave the planet. Goldman Sachs has a new analyst on it and he's crying into a map.

Haaretz reports the UAE warned Netanyahu about a major Hamas operation ten days before October 7 and he didn't act. Three years and 60,000 dead later, the warning turned out to be the most accurate intelligence anyone in the region has ever ignored.

Saturday, September 12: the Houthis have an island, Saudi shut a pipeline, Norway's leaving, a robot hacked a library and the librarian quit, the president's golfing in Ireland, a woman in remission lost her insurance for not being sick enough, and a 23-year-old plays for the first American major in 23 years tomorrow. Tell one. Vote. Watch the tennis.

We put 50% tariffs on Canada. The politest country on earth is now angry, which means they'll apologize while they do it.