Too Soonjokes

The Houthis captured an island in the Bab el-Mandeb Strait and Saudi Arabia shut a major pipeline. A militia in sandals now controls two of the four places oil can leave the planet. Goldman Sachs has a new analyst on it and he's crying into a map.

Saudi Arabia shut down a pipeline "as a precaution" after an attack. The country with the most oil on earth just turned off the tap to stay safe. Your gas station heard about it before you did and adjusted accordingly.

Saturday, September 12: the Houthis have an island, Saudi shut a pipeline, Norway's leaving, a robot hacked a library and the librarian quit, the president's golfing in Ireland, a woman in remission lost her insurance for not being sick enough, and a 23-year-old plays for the first American major in 23 years tomorrow. Tell one. Vote. Watch the tennis.

Saudi Arabia shut a pipeline as a precaution and Aramco's stock went up. The country lost a pipeline and made money. That's the only economy on earth where the leak is the profit.

The Houthis run a blockade of Saudi Arabia and now hold a Red Sea port. A militia the size of a county has outmaneuvered three navies and a $75 billion defense budget. The flip-flops are undefeated.

The Houthis seized Mokha, the port city coffee is named after, and now sit on two of the world's four oil chokepoints. A militia in sandals outmaneuvered three navies. Your $7 latte has a security council briefing.