The Bills open their new stadium tonight against the Lions on Amazon. A billion-dollar building, a team that's lost four Super Bowls, and a Thursday night game streamed by the company whose cargo plane just crashed. Everything in Buffalo is a delivery that might not arrive.
More on Detroit Lions, NFL, Tennis and the US Open, Money and debt
Related jokes
The Bills scored 41 in their billion-dollar stadium's first game and the tight end who caught two of them was on the trade block in August. The building cost $1.4 billion. Dawson Knox cost patience. Only one of those was paid for by the public.
by Anonymous · 67% say too soon (105 votes)
The Bills led 21-0 at halftime in their $1.4 billion stadium's first game. The public paid for a good chunk of the building. The team paid Dawson Knox. Only one of those investments scored twice on opening night.
by Anonymous · 76% say too soon (167 votes)
Bills-Lions tonight in a brand-new stadium. Two fan bases, one Super Bowl between them combined, and it's the Lions', from a movie they're still writing. The winner of tonight gets to be the favorite until January, when it doesn't matter.
by Anonymous · 58% say too soon (36 votes)
Shelton is the first Black American man in a US Open final since Arthur Ashe in 1972, in a stadium named after Arthur Ashe. It took 54 years for the building to see someone it was named for. The Lions have been waiting since 1957, and they don't even have a building named after anybody.
by Anonymous · 67% say too soon (173 votes)
Sabalenka's the two-time champion at -208. Pegula's family owns the Bills, who've lost four Super Bowls. If Pegula loses tonight, it's the family's most competitive loss this decade.
by Anonymous · 22% say too soon (23 votes)
The Lions open Sunday as Super Bowl favorites. Detroit has never had hope survive October. This is the year it finds out what hope costs. Spoiler: last year's price, plus a stadium tax, plus interest, plus a Coney at 1 a.m.
by Anonymous · 21% say too soon (81 votes)
or with a username