Too Soonjokes

Zverev won the US Open and didn't know he'd won; he walked back to the baseline to return serve. He ended a 23-year American drought-extension and needed the scoreboard to tell him. Germany: efficient, punctual, and unaware of the mood in the room.

Ben Shelton beat Tiafoe and plays Zverev Sunday for the first American men's major in 23 years. Zverev's quote: "Hopefully I can not make the American dream come true." A German rooting against the American dream in New York. That's the first honest villain the city's had since the Yankees.

Ben Shelton became the first American man to win a set in a major final since 2009. A set. The bar is now "won a set," and he cleared it with room to spare. Somewhere Andy Roddick is buying the 2003 team a round.

America celebrated 250 years with a war, a tariff fight, and fireworks in a drought. The Founders would be proud. Mostly of the fireworks.

Fourth of July, 250th edition. Fireworks in a drought, hot dogs at tariff prices, and a war overseas. The founders would recognize all of it.

Ben Shelton beat Alcaraz at 3:30 in the morning, the latest finish in US Open history. Twenty-three thousand people watched the sun come up at a tennis match and took the 7 train to work. That's not a tournament, that's a shift.