Too Soonjokes

A Montana woman five years in remission from lymphoma lost Medicaid for being "not sick enough." The cancer's gone. The nerve damage isn't. The state's form has a box for "employed" and no box for "survived and can't hold the pen."

Saturday, September 12: the Houthis have an island, Saudi shut a pipeline, Norway's leaving, a robot hacked a library and the librarian quit, the president's golfing in Ireland, a woman in remission lost her insurance for not being sick enough, and a 23-year-old plays for the first American major in 23 years tomorrow. Tell one. Vote. Watch the tennis.

Every AI company promised to cure cancer. So far they've cured customer service, entry-level jobs, and the ability to know if a photo is real. Cancer's next, they say. Cancer says the same thing.

Montana says a cancer survivor is "not sick enough" for Medicaid. The state has a form for sick. It doesn't have a form for "survived and can't feel her hands." Neither does the country.

Health costs up the most in 23 years. The Health Secretary's response was a video of himself doing pull-ups. Great. The deductible does pull-ups too. It's up to 5,000.

There's an mRNA shot that might prevent skin cancer. Half the country will refuse it and the other half will keep booking tanning beds. Cancer remains undefeated.