Too Soonjokes

The NBA finals had a betting scandal, a gambling ad every timeout, and a champion. The league's official stance is that betting is a disease and also the presenting sponsor.

The NFL season starts this week. Seventeen games, 32 teams, and one league where the players' brains are a preexisting condition.

A.J. Brown, traded to New England, hurt his ankle in the third quarter of his first game. The Patriots got a receiver, a highlight, and an MRI in one night. That's the most value they've gotten from a trade since 2001.

NFL kickoff is Thursday. Roger Goodell makes $64 million a year and the league has a gambling scandal, a concussion settlement, and a halftime show that's a culture war. He's the only commissioner who's been booed by more people than the referees, and he's never once thrown a flag.

The NFL is back. Seventeen weeks of men getting concussed so a guy in Ohio can be mad about his parlay. It's the most American thing on television, and it's also on Amazon now.

A.J. Brown hurt his ankle in the third quarter of his first Patriots game. New England traded for the one thing they lacked in the Super Bowl: a receiver who catches. He caught an injury.