Too Soonjokes

Mortgage rates are 7%. Your parents paid 3% and a firm handshake. You'll pay 7% and a kidney, and the kidney's on a waitlist.

The Fed cut rates again in December. Great news for everyone with a mortgage. That's the 62% of the country that's already stopped reading.

Social Security told a woman to repay $20,000 in 30 days or lose half her check. Commissioner Bisignano is a former Wall Street executive. He knows exactly how to collect a debt. He's never once had to pay one.

Oregon fans booed a 34-27 win. Dan Lanning makes $11 million a year. The fans booed a man they're paying more than their entire mortgage to lose to nobody. That's Eugene: the boos are organic and free-range.

The $5,000 dividend costs $1.3 trillion. Treasury yields are at 2007 levels. Norway's dumping $80 billion in bonds. So the plan is to borrow money nobody wants to lend, to pay voters to elect the people who borrowed it. The Founders would call it a monarchy. Goldman calls it a Thursday.

A socialist won New York. The billionaires threatened to leave, and the city's response was a rent freeze on a million apartments. That's not a policy, that's a taunt.