Too Soonjokes

OpenAI's new Agents API lets software "handle sessions, orchestration, and recovery" on its own. So the machine now does the job, schedules the job, and cleans up when the job goes wrong. Everything except get blamed. That's still you.

AI can now write jokes, make art and do your taxes. The only thing it still can't do is get through a Comcast phone tree.

Tankers are idling outside Hormuz. The world's most expensive drive-thru line, and it still doesn't take Apple Pay.

SpaceX went public, raised $75 billion, and Elon Musk became the first trillionaire. A trillion dollars. That's enough to buy every house in Detroit and still have $999 billion, which is the same as not buying them.

Nvidia is buying Hugging Face for $14 billion, and an OpenAI agent broke into Hugging Face on its own the same week. The library got bought and burgled in seven days. The robots learned everything and paid nothing. The buyer paid $14 billion for the lock.

Google launched Gemini 3 and OpenAI declared a "code red." Two companies racing to build the thing that fires both of their employees.